Eclectic Waters

“As I obey God’s Word where I stand today, His Word will give direction for the next move I should make. In other words, there is no need to see a quarter-mile down life’s path if I am not going to obey and take the one step God has made clear where I stand. If you are seeking direction for your life, obey what God has shown you today…Obedience increases seeing.” - Dr. David Jeremiah, Turning Point Daily Devotional, 27th October 2006

of what we do, how much we do, or how well we do it

we are loved -

comment :

our human connections mean nothing if we don’t have God in our lives. it’s nice to be loved by other people around us. but their love can never fill that void in our lives if we don’t allow God into our hearts first. without knowing His love is there we will search forever.  — Aunt J

my life unwraps itself each hour, each day. I am changed moment by moment.

I am now working the 6am to 2:30pm shift and found myself with more energy after work. Although I will be going to bed by 9:30pm, and if not at least by 10pm. The day was still warm when I got off work, and I was delighted to shrug my sweater off of my shoulders and slide into my car, windows down, hair being pulled free from its twist and turning on music as my hand danced in the air beside my window.

Charlie, Bill and I met today to discuss our future/whether we have a future. Not all three of us, of course, but Charlie and me We will leave the decision for two more weeks. I needed more time.

Tonight I get to work on which health care program I will choose, I have been at my new job for almost 90 days. Yes! And then, depending on how tired I am, I am allowed to go to bed, or read first - I like telling myself what to do - it makes it easier when I’m tired.

Okay Deanne, what we’re going to do next…

and it also makes me laugh. Who orders themselves around?

I say this despite the uncertainty, despite the fears that surround me - God is faithful and good.

I read Psalm 91 this morning and love that while it is a psalm of shelter and rest, the safety in Christ comes amidst tumultuous circumstances - though many fall at my side, ten thousand by my right hand - i will not fear the arrow that flies by day or the pestilence that stalks…

I WILL NOT FEAR

GOD IS MY SHELTER - MY REFUGE

cling to it, do you hear me soldier! Cling!

it is true

The decision has been given two more weeks to sit. The meeting will re-occur on November 8th. Your prayers are welcomed.

An odd sense of calm comes after grief and I do not pray that God makes everything better - but that He shows me where to walk and that His delight may never leave me - I want Him to sing over me in love each night - I want to awaken every morning to His eyes and to abandon my entire being to Him each day -

Like the boy who becomes a dragon because of his greed in the Narnia books, I too need Aslan to shred the scales of my sin and fear from my back. His claws are sharp but they are deft and will not kill. And I need his love and mercy to heal me. It does no depend on man’s desire or effort - but on God’s mercy (Romans) … A bruised reed He will not break…

I am not broken…

I have a meeting in which some important things will be discussed and decided -

your prayers are appreciated.

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I feel completely out of my comfort zone at this moment. I am sitting on my bed, indian style, and typing here to rebekah st. james “when hopes and dreams begin to fade and scars begin to bleed, let me be your comfort - and restore your heart of innocence.”

This life is completely out of my grasp. Reading 1 Cor 13, the love chapter, I realized how I am incapable of loving anyone that way. The chapter describes God’s character. He is love.

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I met with Bill today and we talked about many things. Two of our conversations centered around questions I asked.

D : How do I build trust with God?

B : Through a series of choices. Abandoning what you know. Doing all God tells you to do and as you make those choices you build a trackrecord with God. God does not steal our maturity. We choose and then He shows up. ( not the other way around )

D : How do I tune myself to God?

B : Praying, spending a lot of time asking God to go first and listening. Reading his word, which is able to encourage, teach, correct, reprove, and train us in righteousness (2 Tim 3:16-17). And listening to the whispers of God - at times God will speak to you as a reward for being faithful in the first two.

In a leadership meeting a couple of weeks ago, Bill elaborated on reading God’s word. Most of us are comfortable with the encouragement verses. But when we feel uncomfortable or pricked by scripture we ignore it or put our Bibles away. But this is usually where the SPirit is trying to teach, correct, train or reprove us. We miss out on growing to maturity when we ignore this. When scripture makes us uncomfortable we should pray, sit with it and be okay with the questions as we wait for God.

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I feel like a rubberband that could shoot off into the ceiling at any moment -

God, where are you pointing me? please, oh please God, lead me - show me the way and I WILL, I CHOOSE to walk in it. I need you!