Eclectic Waters

Archive for November, 2006

exciting stuff -

a year ago I was sitting in the small hole of a room I prepared to teach in each morning. I was crying. The stale coffee that Mr. Heilman, the teacher I shared one of my rooms with, prepared every morning filled the small space as I held the sobs inside and tried to concentrate on what I would teach that day. I am so thankful not to be in that space anymore.

Last year my birthday was the last day I taught, stepping down that afternoon, and a competent substitute teacher who had taught English for two years and quit because of the stress symptoms she was experiencing took over my class for the last 3 weeks of the semester.

So much has happened this year and I am thankful to have the job that I do, and the (mostly) sanity of mind I do

Here’s to what lies ahead and to new beginnings – each day, each year, this year.

Love, hate – what will I choose?

Sadness, happiness – what will you choose?

Fear, trust – what will I choose?

Reaching out, isolation – what will you choose?

Obeying, justifying – what will I choose?

Dreams, excuses – what will you choose?

Sacrifice, selfishness – what will I choose?

Failure, success – what will I choose?

Are they all opposites?

Okay, it’s true. It was not the kind of mountain that comes to mind when someone tells you to close your eyes and picture the wilderness or the mountains streching across Canada and the US. I think some of those mountains are called the Rocky Mountains. The mountain my sister and I climbed yesterday was more of an extended hill.

I thought it would be cool and so I wore long pants. Half way up the mountain I was envying Rach’s shorts. It was hot but we were determined and so we hiked to the top and sat on a rock in the wind and took a picture to send to our little sis in SC.

As we hiked back down we decided that the reason people come to hike this mountain was to debrief. This may be true of all mountains, but we found it specifically true for this one as we both remembered two men passing us on our way up the extended mountain. One of them was venting, “Either I had to change or the situation had to. So I changed…” Then we were past them. Rach and I named the mountain : debrief mountain. And that name is so much better than its original name.
There are times in public when I have to suppress my desire to go up to the strangers I am eavesdropping on to join in their conversation, or to go up to a group of people sitting who look interesting and to pull up a chair. Nonchalantly of course, just to get to know some people. I hope to do the second at some point in my life -

So, the moral – if you need to debrief. Grab a sister, a friend, or even a dog and go climb a mountain. It’s better than therapy. Rocks don’t talk and even if one of your fellow hikers overhears, all they have is one sentence. What could someone possibly write with just one sentence?

the Christmas lights at Balboa Park have been hung and lit. Last night I invited myself to join a group of people going out for dinner; we ate overpriced pizza, and then we walked around the park from 9:30pm until 11:30pm. The girls had brought a camera and so they and a select few of the guys took “myspace pictures”.

My space pictures = obviously posed pictures of yourself meant to help other people realize your coolness through overemphasizing your crazyness, cuteness or artistic sensibilities.

(although I would argue that myspace pictures are an oxymoron to anything artistic)

I did not have time to go home to change shoes after inviting myself along and so I was stuck with my tall flip flops and a borrowed pair of my brothers socks. I was thankful for the socks until my big toe poked through a large hole. Brothers! I think I’ll buy him socks for Christmas, or I’ll just buy him socks. I thew the pair away when I returned home; I haven’t told him yet. We watched a crane hanging streamers of blue lights in the square of Balboa park. Balboa is one of my favorite places in San Diego. We walked down her paths, past the buildings, to the Grinch Stole Christmas set up by the Old Globe, and around the brightly colored fountains.
My favorite part of the evening, besides staring at exposed toe and smiling with love for my brother, was watching David and Noey pretend to be Ninja’s. Besides being enthralled with Chuck Norris, the man and jokes about him, they want to be Ninja’s when they grow up. David is 25; Noey is 19. They hid behind walls, trying (notice trying) to scare us and then spent the evening jumping over walls. David recently hurt his knee and so I questioned the wisdom of this – but a Ninja will do what a Ninja has to do.

The park was still at night and the lights were like neon cottoncandy, strung and highlighting the buildings.

I was sitting in my car waiting to park when a large SUV pulled up beside me. As I glanced over I noticed it had rims – the shiny spinning kind, and thought, “Oh look. They’re moving.”

Now there was a time when I defended the buyers of rims, mostly because I tend to defend anyone that is being spoken against because I can’t bear to have something be criticized when they are not present, or with no one defending them. But then when I think about my defense, especially of rim buyers, I thought, “No. Rims are pretty stupid.”

I wonder what the buyers think when they buy them.

“I think I should buy these. Not only are they shiny but they also spin, and I know that girls find them sexy. When people see them I know they will think I’m cool and have lots of money.”

Actually, when I see them I think: stupid.

But maybe there are girls or guys who find them cool. After all, they are shiny, and even better, they spin.