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Can you wait for God?

“It sounds like you’re in a season of waiting”, Bill told me.

It made sense.

There’s only one problem.

I hate waiting!

But…

I was reminded about waiting by today’s sermon. “God waits until the last minute.”

Abraham’s hand was poised above his son’s chest. The knife glinting above the mountain side.

Shadrach, Meshak and Abednego were being thrown into the fire. The men casting them to the flames all died.

It was in that moment. The deciding moment that God’s deliverance arrived.

The Israelites were caught at the Dead Sea’s shore with the Egyptian army at their back. They could hear the angry screams and metal of the chariot wheels advancing towards them.

As the pastor said, “I would have written the story differently. If I were in charge, I would deliver you sooner. But God is wiser than I am and He loves you more than I do.”

childhood in the Caribbean

lost in the sea of the ocean

touch the sand with your toes

somersault

hold your breath

shake the water from your hair

and laugh at the sun

Surgeon

I lay on the table with my arms and legs stretched out. The room is cold and I feel vulnerable. While I am free to go, I know that it is worth staying. As the surgeon walks towards me with the cutting knife, I am reminded to breath when my vision blurs.

Do you trust me?

He pauses as I answer the silent question of his eyes, “yes.”

———–

Sometimes healing creeps through the door unseen and slowly puts all in order. At other times, we must invite him in and face the pain of our wounds being re-opened, cleaned and sewn together.

During the summer of 03 I had a choice. I remained on the cutting table until the work was done.

My last day with Pam I felt lighter. The well of my eyes finally emptied; they could now accept light.

Charcoal

Pick up a piece:

red, blue, green,

and begin to draw a line.

I pause.

Watch the line.

I close my eyes if it is slow in coming.

A picture emerges

and i begin -

a face

flower

square

color

wave

wind

expression

growth

I close my eyes to see.

Hope

“Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door.”

-Emily Dickenson