Eclectic Waters

The sheets of my bed fall back like the pages of a newly opened book. Monday. A new beginning.

I was just re-reading my post to you last year at this time and wanted to drop you a note. It’s been quite a year.

You: have healed, worked at Turning Point for almost a year, left Thrive after faithfully serving the time you committed to, have developed new dreams and goals…

You have become new in so many ways - and are breathing more deeply - believing in the choices God has given you and the goodness of Him.

It is hard to believe in God’s goodness when you are in pain, but I remember right after you realized that you and Charlie would break up, and the stillness that came over you as you surrendered it to God. Surrender does that - makes you still and calm.  The crashing pain came later - but now, it is a dim memory from a shore you can no longer remember.

Thank you for creating more room for me - there’s still a lot of maturing and cleaning up to do around the rooms of your soul - but God is faithful and He has bound me to you - so I won’t be leaving anytime soon and I do so love you and cherish you -

the quirky laugh, the funny dances and the deep reflections of your melancholy side.

Here’s to you - my dancer, my perfect imperfection, His girl - i love you

– Mercy

For a first time dancer he was decent. He did not step on my feet. Instead of gripping my hand in his sweaty palm, he held it lightly. Here’s to David and him finally joining Kathy and me to dance.

A smooth dancer with patience leads the girl in the burgundy dress across the floor. She is smiling and while she consistently gets confused as to where he is leading, he smiles back and continues to lead her, slowing slightly to help her keep up.

The first man she dances with wants to be good, but the count he is using throws me off. It is not so much jerky, as simply the opposite of smooth. Using the excuse of wanting to learn and wanting to practice he asked me to dance a second time after I had kindly excused myself for a cup of water. But I was waiting for the smooth dancer, and so I declined.

Sitting on the bar chair at the high table with my purse and our three waters, I watched them. My mouth swims outward into a smile as I watch David and Kathy creating moves of their own. They are laughing. The graceful turns of the experienced dancers reminds me of why I come while the music relaxes me despite its clear beat and intense volume.

There is life in this place and I am taking the advice of my professor, “Relish the moments…”

What does your window overlook (or one of them)?

One, pregnant with two small children. The other, just engaged, planning her wedding in October. I will be a bridesmaid. I can’t wait to wear a beautiful dress and to partake in my friend’s celebration and joy.

I drove with my pregnant friend to visit the old man we used to take care of, Ed. He is doing well in a home. They wake him up at 6:15 am each day and so he fell asleep as Carey and I shared our lives. It was only 7:30 pm, but I guess if you’ve been up since 6:15…

We caught up on the details of each other’s lives. She is learning about God’s unconditional love and the choices we have in our lives - the choice between one life and the life behind a different decision. God loves us regardless of the choice we make, but behind some doors we hear the beckoning of something deeper - something that will transform us - something wild, adventure - and if we choose that door, we are led closer to the fullness of what God created us to be. But, it’s still a choice - and regardless - we have God’s love.

Melissa shared the emotion of being newly engaged. And the myriad of choices that need to be made after the initial, “yes”. I am proud of my God who has restored my heart to listen and respond to her engagement stories with no regret or hurt left from my broken one.

—-

The woman hurled the glass vase to the ground. “This is my life now!” Her husband, with whom she had a strong marriage and good life, had died suddenly. She glared into Joshua’s eyes and left.

Later in the movie, after Joshua left town, the priest was speaking to the woman, “oh I almost forgot, Joshua asked me to give this to you.” Turning back towards her, he held a stunning figurine that caught the light. It has been carefully molded from the broken glass of the vase. *
This is the work of my God. Restoration.

—-

There is nothing that blesses me more than the hearts of my sisters - revealed in honesty and trust. I hold their words - a shimmering veil around their soul - and I want to tell them they are wonderful, beautiful, and wise. If I told people the awareness of beauty I experience as I listen and interact with them each time I experienced it - I would never stop.

People’s tenacity, courage and depth never cease to surprise and amaze me.

———–

* scenes from movie Joshua