Eclectic Waters

Archive for July, 2007

Composed June 21, 2006

The sky is simply bigger here, in Alberta. It stretches from one side of the earth to the other. Alberta is flat and more open than other places, like the view from the railing the Logos II when we had sailed for two days, away from all land, and the waves stretched out, reaching in all directions with their fingers of foam. White horses, Annegreet called them.

I would sit, legs propped against the railing, to watch the ocean. At night my eyes couldn’t catch all the sky at once and so I would sit, neck straining in slow movements, to take it all in. My brain could not contain the glory and now I have forgotten so much of the vibrant sights I have seen.

The fish

The waves

The sky

Especially the sky

How does one describe a sky

that stretches beyond what one can imagine

If I had lived years ago, I would have believed the earth was flat.

I stood in my Grandparents back yard after riding grandpa’s bike around town. Vauxhall is a small town. I raced myself towards the end of a gravel road and into the fields, away from the houses, where I stopped to watch a clump of trees. A group of black bird shadows flew over them and the trees were dwarfed by the subtle hills of the prairie.

After leaving the bike in the shed, I stood in the backyard for one last moment to watch the sky.

I stood in their back yard and as I turned back to the house, I caught a glimpse of Grandma’s head in the T.V. room window. The light was bright and her permed curls were resting on her hands. I could not see her face. She looked like she was praying. I froze the picture in my mind. There was something personal and intimate about seeing my Grandma with her head resting on her hands.

Just an hour ago before I said goodbye to her as I was leaving back for Cali. in the morning. After saying goodbye I pulled a chair next to her and told her how much I looked up to her and wanted to be like her. She has been part of the backbone of prayer that has held me up during the ebb and flow of life.

The growth in me, and the fruit of my life, has been the result of her faithful and continuous prayers. When I was ready to die after teaching, and depressions clawed hands surrounded me, she prayed and God heard.

I was healed.

– my reflections on the trip, written shortly after I returned.

It was vibrant. I felt like I did standing on the Logos II deck surrounded by ocean as I watched the silver flying fish dive into the salty spray of waves caused by the ship.

Once I broke through the shock of being in a new culture, I threw my head back and drank deeply of the experience.

Now I’m back in the States. Sitting at my laptop with my just painted nails, wondering where that country went. It had become home. Yesterday at T.P., I believed I was still in Mexico. My mind knew better, but my spirit and soul wanted to keep the experience alive.

The moments of the mission trip are woven into a tapestry of stories. Most people will only listen to one or two. Then their attention span returns to their own story, their own voice and the topic is switched. There are a handful of people who are patient enough to let me talk through the whole story, awkwardly processing and putting it into words. They are a gift. Thanks to those who were the first to listen: A-ron, Kathy and my parents.

Three of the people I met in Mexico are:

Donna – an older lady with the intensity for work of my Grandma Toews. She rarely rested and was always thinking of what she could cook or do to put our group at ease. She was the last one sitting or to bed, and the first one up, making sure the coffee was ready when we woke up. She is a missionary to a number of barrios. Like Dorcas in the Bible she feeds and clothes people. Twice a month she visits the poor barrios and brings a cooked meal and food supplies for the many single moms in these communities struggling to feed their families.

Elsa – mother of six. Her husband died a year ago. Together they founded the Christian school she now oversees. The girls of our group stayed at her house, across from the school. It is where we ate our meals. Her three youngest were home and soon became part of our group’s family. She was passionate and deeply in love with God. Despite the pain from losing her husband, she was upbeat and continues to serve God and others.

Eric – the principal of the school. A passionate man of integrity. He and his wife are leaders and inspired me as to the type of relationship I desire. Two gifted leaders, passionate about serving people and heading God’s call. When he told his boss in the States that he felt called to go to Cabo, Mexico to be a principal, his boss offered to double his salary. Eric said no. His boss called a second time telling him to go to a car dealership and to pick any car, if only he would stay. Eric said no. We called him Pastor Eric because he preached and lived the word. His three messages to us were clear, passionate and truthful. When he talked about Daniel, steadfast and full of integrity, he seemed to become Daniel. A man uncompromising and passionate as he told us to remain steadfast and uncompromising.

I was moved because I have been studying leadership and committing myself to God, to be trained up as a leader for any purpose he may call me to. Eric’s messages were:

1. God has a purpose for you. But like King Saul we have a choice as to whether we step up to and fulfill the purpose. If we do not, God will choose someone else. Key word = obedience. Are we willing to obey God and be used for his purpose?

2. Are we willing to cling to our first love? Taken from the end of Ephesians where Paul says “Grace be to those whose love is steadfast…” Is our love steadfast? He talked about Daniel (who was cast into the lion’s den) and David (who repented from his sin).

3. What are we spending our time on? Are we doing what is truly important?

The examples he used were all leaders who were great not because of what they were but because of who God called them to be. Their stories revealed how God’s power can be portrayed in the lives ordinary people. I want to be one of those people.

So often I read about Bible characters and I pray, “God make me like Paul, make me like David.” As I walked through a cluster of palm trees, watching Valerie walk before me, I understood that instead of trying to be like the characters in the Bible and to mirror their stories, that God was creating me uniquely for a new part of His story. I thought of Donna, feeding the hungry and loving the destitute. She reminded me of Dorcas, but she was not Dorcas and even though I saw a dim resemblance, she was Donna.

The beauty in the people I met is that they allowed God to take them, all of who THEY were, and transform and use them for His glory.

I went to Mexico expecting for God to confirm that I am not called to overseas missions. I did not want to go. I told myself, “I want a home; I want stability.” I still long for those things, but I’ve seen something greater than a home or safety. It is adventure and being used beyond one’s ability for God.

I was changed and am now willing to go.

God whispers, “anywhere?”

I smile, “yes.”

Thinking about missions, a lesson I realized a couple months ago was set into a deeper part of my heart’s soil:

We are all missionaries. The only difference between missionaries and church members who stay in one place is intentionality. Missionaries are not super human super spiritual people – they are people like us who have chosen to live their lives with the intention of glorifying God and bringing people to him. They have simply chosen people outside of their towns, and often outside of their comfort zone. But are we willing to be intentional about how we live – intentional about our faith, our actions and our priorities where we are? Or is our love for Christ a passing whim, easily swept away by money, safety and apathy?

This was my internal world in Mexico. The external world was full of service and patience opportunities. Brian, who has been on many mission trips, said that he has never been on a team with such diverse personalities. We were all tested, and for the most part succeeded in patience with each other. Love is patient…

We presented the gospel to the kids at the Christian school, sang songs and played with them. We went with Donna to the poor neighborhoods and distributed food. Most of the people in these neighborhoods live in small two room houses with no doors and holes cut in the walls for windows. The neighborhoods were not just dirty, but consisting of dirt and dust, leaving everything the bland color of sand. The kids run around in raggedy clothes, either too big or too small. Many children do not have shoes.

We also participated in an outreach to two towns presenting in a large school yard located between them. We handed out 500 free tamales and presented the gospel through the drama. The local church we worked with was thankful because they did not have the manpower to put together and run such a big event.

We presented the drama 7 times total. Daniel, a retired teacher and administrator for the New York school district, who played Jesus.He cried every time man, played by Brian, fell into sin and continued to cry as the three demons (I was one of them) mocked the him. His tears continued as he took man’s place and was crucified. His tears revealed God’s love to me.

We painted classrooms and rebuilt roofs that were falling in. I even got to use an electric drill to put screws into the beams for the new roofs we were building (I only hurt my fingers 2x) . It’s true – I’m buff.

The team became a family. The type of family I have grown up with that is not limited to my blood relatives or immediate family, although I love them very much too.

From here on, when an opportunity for a short term missions trip comes up or any other opportunity to serve, I will no longer assume that the call is not for me. Instead I will pray and ask if it is. I do not want to miss these opportunities.

Short term mission trips are a spiritual boot camp. Discussing this with Kathy, she said that all short term mission trips begin with about three days of discouragement. Depending on how the team handles those three days will determine the fruitfulness of the trip. If the team pulls together in prayer and is able to push through – the trip will be amazing. If the team allows the discouragement to work its way into their hearts and distance them from each other and God – the trip will be a failure.

Our team prayed hard. We pushed through. We are a family. We will never be the same.

As Eric said the morning of our first day, “You thought you were coming to build a roof, but God wants to build you on this trip.”

He did.