What burdens your heart?
On Christian’s prompt, “What burdens your heart so much that until you do it you will never be free.”
Albatross -
If I were not free, although I am, I would not be free until
I was heard,
until I see my words as a whole,
a story on your shelf.
I would not be free until each day
has been picked up
and sipped like vintage wine.
I would not be free until I have
loved deeply and given myself completely to the ones I love -
until I hear my children’s laughter
and look into their eyes.
I will not be free until I am overswept
by God’s love - freed from who I think I should be -
to be who I am.
I will not be free until I have made my home a place of art and beauty -
a gift I invite friends and strangers into.
——–
My freedom comes
each time I behold the stillness of profound beauty
the cliffs on Saturday
the ocean whispering to me from below
when I help someone by
my presence
my words
my love.
It comes each time I forgive the person causing me intentional or unintentional pain.
I used to think I would die inside if I did not do something great - achieve something beyond myself.
I still desire this, but my clawing, trying to pull myself up slippery slopes has ceased.
My freedom came with a friend’s words:
Your greatest gift is who you are.
To deepen myself - to allow God to grow me - to be unafraid of the woman I see in the mirror -
to commit to being myself, although I see the shortcomings, fear and failure -
this is the act requiring all my courage
and if I succeed it will be my greatest accomplishment.
———-
Besides this -
I will not rest or be free until I know I have been sculptured by the Potter’s hand, wielded by Him
to heal
to listen
to laugh
to help
the people around me.
I will not be free until I have unshakable joy and laugther in my soul.