Eclectic Waters

Archive for March, 2008

empty your eyes

hold it in

let it go

wash your eyes with salt.

I’ve been writing -

I’ve been busy -

but it is in the silence of memories

standing on the fringe of my mind,

waiting for me to acknowledge them.

I wish there were some other way -

to write this story,

but the only way I know

is through…

the memories…

the pain…

and I believe it is a story worth telling and so it is a story worth the pain of remembering -

my story is about being voiceless

and then finding my voice.

Today I have my voice

but i am afraid

because

i am not sure

of what I want to say
and i’m afraid

to take a stand and put it out there.

———–

I think what most of us want is to be heard, accepted and listened to as a person.

I close the door on some stories.

Like my story with C.
I see him with his new fiance and I can remember what it was like to hold his hand,

drive in the car beside him, laughing,
to kiss him,

but he is no longer a character in my story.

I can re-open that door and re-read that chapter,
remembering his brief interlude in my story.

I can wish he were still a character in my story

or

i can close the door.

He’s one of the characters who appears briefly in the middle of the novel and then disapears.

He is not a main character and so I can leave the end of his story out of my own.