Eclectic Waters

read the lines on the soft of my belly

the swirls at the end of letters in my eyes

the sentence breathing against my tongue

This afternoon I was disappointed when I left a discussion I was hoping for answers in with none. I gained information I already knew (at least intuitively) about myself, my gifts and where I am heading…and I was left with the statement, “we don’t have anything like this right now [in the church] but I can see it happening in the next year or year and a half so stick around…”

There is just a slight problem. I am driven. I love practical applications, a list of how to run and where to… I left empty handed feeling the burning of desire and energy in my stomach - with no where to go to… yet.

AHHH! I’ve been waiting the last year - silently - waiting

my mind:

Dee, it’s a journey - relax! You’re facing the right direction, you’re being faithful, you have great friends, a good life… relax and enjoy the calm

my spirit:

are you kidding? but i have all this energy - this time - and every two weeks i’m bored out of my mind at what i’m doing (for work and for church)…

the end result:

i cried to lyndsay. i shared with tiffany. and after a bath and some time to settle… although i still feel unsettled, i am looking at this as an opportunity - just as I began to see life after my first semester of student teaching when I decided to give student teaching one more try… and learned so much -

this could be like it - an opportunity to wait, to pray and to learn to start becoming my own teacher as I wait…

what’s that truth again?

Waiting is not passive. And that’s good, because neither am I…