The affection in his eyes
uncovered
the fear in my chest
until all the shiny cockroaches came skuttling
an army of fear
across the floor of me.
—–
His affection was not the reason -
but merely the mirror by which my state was revealed.
—–
Fear.
Infestation.
I watch them skuttling
hold my arms out
they crawl to my fingers
and wait
for the smoke of freedom
to carry them away.
Posted by DeeDee |
to be loved,
a fearful state
when someone begins to be
a part of whom you are
and you realize how often
you have lost yourself
waiting to be found
by another
seek
and ye shall find
knock,
and it shall be opened unto you
ask
and it will be given
poured out in good measure
running over
wisdom crieth in the streets
who shall seek her?
some days, what i find
has no name
but can best be described
by sunrise
those moments
when i forget my body
and journey to the horizon,
i take you with me
and
we laugh
—
some thoughts in reaction to what you have written. thursday, long in to the night, staring at a screen infuriating in its puritanical candor, still blank after hours of struggle to say… anything.
i have had an epiphany. every communication has a context. every word, every phrase. without context, is meaningless. people are the same. without our proper context, we lose effectiveness. or apparent value.
it seems you search for a context. it seems we all do. but at two thirty-four in the morning, nearly anything sounds plausible.
i hope you gain some measure of peace from the cockroaches. or find a good exterminator.
thank you for your vulnerability. your words are beautiful.
anyhoo
sleep well.
September 19th, 2008 | #
thank you Mike!
but now that daylight has broken in - it may come 
before I was not even aware of them.
i too hope for peace from the cockroaches
what you said about context is so important! we all want to belong!
i’ve been writing my story - moving/the ship etc. - and as i write and as God brings diff. people into my life I see that my story is not my own - but the story of so many - being lost and longing to be found…
these words you wrote are so true:
and you realize how often
you have lost yourself
waiting to be found
by another
so often I do look to others for being found - i think it is slowly sinking into my deepest heart that while others can find parts of me - only God can find the fullness of me and I will only be truly found/known/belong in Him…
this life is such a journey!!
sending a hug! wishing you all the best and most vibrant that life has to offer!
Deanne
September 19th, 2008 | #