Eclectic Waters

Archive for March, 2009

I saw baby geese at the park today. They were so CUTE and WONDERFUL! I can’t wait until more of the ducks/geese have babies this spring.
Rhonda and I played tennis this afternoon.
Right now I’m listening to the main track of Braveheart on pandora.com (love that website!).

I’m taking a break from writing about the ocean and the first time I really saw it, on the voyage from Portugal to Barbados.

I remember the water lightening as we neared Barbados. It was also the first voyage since my return to the ship where I saw dolphins and flying fish.

I just wanted to stop by and say hi…

it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged.

I hope you are well and finding the beauty in each day whether it is stunning beauty – like the ocean – or simpler – like baby geese or the smile of a friend.

although this is a stretching time as I give at work and write my autobiography -

I recently realized that I am living my perfect life:

I am loved. I love the people in my life. My friends, my family.

I live by a lake (yippee!!) – I hope to always live close to a body of water – or in view of the mountains and nature’s beauty

I am writing (almost) every day and inspired/passionate about the story i am telling. it is my story but i know that others will resonate and be encouraged by it – it talks about the things I searched other books for – but about which little is written (being a 3rd culture kid, caught between countries, feeling homeless-like a drifter – and i’m sure there are people who are not 3rd culture kids who will also relate ) – I think many of us walk through the earth like Peter Pans lost boys – without a family/home – or with deep wounds from the family we did have…

anyways -

I love my job – when i think of my co-workers – beautiful women of God – and the family we have at Turning Point in the Customer Service department – i am honored to be working there and pouring out my energy and heart

so…

I have the perfect life.

and when disturbances or thoughts about things i wish would change come in – i acknowledge them, but realize that next to all these BIG blessings – they are insignificant…

Thankfulness – surrounds me

Kindness – brushes up against my heart

and I am filled with J O Y

realizing my tendency to over-commit myself and to get caught up in the moment – in other’s people excitement or love for something -

which translates into being too busy and to filling my schedule with things i don’t really want to do…

this week this realization has meant having to email/call people after talking to them and saying YES -

to tell them I should have said NO -

and to clear my schedule.

it’s a little humiliating having to do this – because it feels like being a FLAKE (which i despise) -

but I’m realizing that until I am able to “check in” with myself more in the moment and actually TAKE TIME TO THINK through whether I really want to committ to these things… that I am at the beginning of breaking the pattern through being honest -

even if it means stepping back from what I originally agreed to.

I was able to share about this in my Tues night bible study, and my friend Carolyn was very kind,

Dee, if you ever need to change or cancel plans with me after we make them because of this, don’t worry about it. I will not see you as a flake.

That was an encouraging moment. It was also encouraging to hear from the others in the small group that I am not the only one who struggles with this…

getting caught in the moment. That sounds great, we should totally do that…

and then later thinking, why did I say that? I don’t even like… or I don’t want to…

my hope – to eventually take time to think about whether i’m going to say yes or no first so i won’t have to back step quite so often…

but right now I’m learning – and learning to be kind to myself as I learn