Eclectic Waters

writing a book proposal -

May 30th, 2009

been working on it for the last two hours - still have quite a bit to do.

i can’t believe how emotional it is - i really believe in what i’m writing and believe it will be published -

but i am still surprised each time during the writing that my heart constricts and my eyes moisten -

but i know it’s a good thing

and when that happens, i embrace the emotion for a moment, sitting still

and then find a quick song to get up and dance to clear my head and heart so i can return to my seat to spill some more words onto paper.

plaque

May 27th, 2009

As our teeth go through each day, plaque builds on them, and if we are not careful to brush and floss, cavaties will burrow their way deep into their roots, causing them to rot.

As we walk through life, plaque builds on our soul in the form of hurt, bitterness, lonleliness, anger, and discouragement. This is just the beginning of an extensive list.  

Some days I can feel the dreariness of it all weighing on me, as I sludge forward, uphill and over rocks.

The question is what am I doing to scrape the plaque off of myself so that I can truely be alive, instead of a dull yellow being, weighed down and worn away.

My answers come in numerous forms:

Focusing on the present moment, taking in the things that are easily rushed by:

- a tree in blossom

- my sisters smiles

-the color of the sky

-cloud formations

Reading a book to get outside of my narrow halls of my mind.

Dreaming of possibilities instead of focusing on the choices life seems to be withholding from me.

Sharing with friends - joy and sorrow.

Spending time listening to God and allowing Him to scrape the jaded view of life off of me…

What do you do to scrape the plaque of everyday life away from your soul?

a l i v e

May 23rd, 2009

the air i breath

is frosted with fire

the scenes i watch

jump

and move forward.

i feel

sensations in my heart

emotions flowing through.

i touch

a leaf

my sister’s hand

the dishes i am washing in the sink.

and i can’t explain the story behind it

or exactly what it is,

but these last weeks

i’ve felt the pocket of my being

full

and overflowing with

life

and joy.

While running, I smile randomnly into the sky

Thank you Daddy.

While driving, tears of joy run down my face.

Thank you Daddy.

This family of mine. These precious and deep friendships.  The beauty of California.  My awesome job…

and the foundation they all rest on:

Daddy’s grace towards me

Daddy choosing me to work His purposes on earth

Daddy’s love towards me

It surrounds me and causes me to smile, laugh and cry for joy.

Thank you Daddy.

Global Nomad

May 15th, 2009

I’m writing a book about my life and what it’s been like to grow up all over the world.  When people ask, I often say, I am from the sea, and for me this holds more truth than, I have a Canadian passport; I was born in Germany or I currently live in America.  When I say any of these three things, I feel caught in a description that does very little to capture the essence of my story.

But when I say, I am from the sea, people are confused and ask, what?

And this is the response I want, because I myself am confused by how to describe and capture my nomadic life and I prefer for people to get that part of my struggle than to put me in a nicely fitting box (which doesn’t fit): American, Canadian, German.

Last night I met with Diana and shared with her the next step to writing my book and getting it published.  Instead of writing and then sending a complete manuscript to try to find a publisher, the best way to find a publisher it to write one or two chapter well and then put a book proposal or query letter together.  Then I either have to find an agent or there are a handful of sites that take book proposals and match them with publishers.

The above revelation came to me through a conversation with my Dad’s boss, Hans, over pizza at the last Major Donor event my Dad put together. 

Last night, I talked over the focus of my book as well as the chapter format/content.  It amazes me how passionate I get when talking about the experience of being a Third Culture Kid and the different layers of that experience.  

My book is the capturing of my experience and the result of growing up with no way to communicate it.  For years I have been writing, thinking and trying to articulate what it was like moving from culture to culture, with an ever changing landscape for the story of my life.  I have read voraciously, looking for words that resonated with or encompassed a part of my experience.

Growing up, it would have been immensely helpful to have a book like this.  To realize that I was not alone in the issues and struggles of being a Third Culture Kid or Global Nomad.   It is my hope that this book will encourage and comfort others who have either passed through or are still wrestling with their experience as a Global Nomad.

I would appreciate your prayers that I would continue to have inspiration as I write and that I would connect with a good publisher and/or agent when I do start sending my book proposal out.

May 7th, 2009

I’ve been quiet on this front lately as God has been stirring some deep things in my life.

My foot is raised and now resting on the next step, although steps is such an inadequate metaphor.

When sharing in my small group I asked that i would hear and accept the things God was stirring and speaking to me in the areas of my story (writing), my work and being single.   All three areas had been the focus of much thought and struggling with God.

I don’t have time tonight to write the answers to this prayer, but God has been nudging me onward and I am extremely excited about the journey on which I find myself.

My schedule has been shifting as I scrutinize my time and dreams.  It has been a life giving shift.