Reflecting on the last two days…
Sitting with Rachael and Erik playing dominoes. I’m actually having fun? Is this legal? It’s dominoes! In the past when I think of dominoes, I internally yawn - B O R I N G. But thanksgiving morning, with our cups of coffee beside us, bantering back and forth, sharing childhood stories, laughing and just hanging out… I actually had fun. Needless to say, I was surprised.
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I spent thanksgiving with Kathy and her family. We loaded her Dad’s truck with the feast Kate cooked the day before, and after a brief crisis of spilt gravy which was carefully ladeled from the bottom of the cooler back into the serving container, we headed towards Julian. Sitting at a picnic table in the midst of nature, and later taking a walk with Kate and her brothers in which we took turns taking pictures, I smiled. This was not what I had planned to do on thanksgiving, but again, I was pleasantly surprised to feel myself relaxed and enjoying the beauty.
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At 5 I entered the pick up lane at the airport and when I saw Justin walking with long strides towards my PT Cruiser, I grinned, parked, leaped out of the car, and hugged him tightly. I love my family.
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Watched UP for a 2nd time in 2 days with Justin and cried…again. It’s a beautiful story about loss, moving beyond the loss, and the fact that the end of each relationship/adventure can in fact be the beginning of a new one… if we will open our hearts and eyes to see it and embrace it. I highly recommend the movie!
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Today was Christmas preparation day. After a walk around my lake with Justin, the sun warming our faces in the crisp morning air, we headed for Rach’s where she and I listened to Christmas music and prepared some Christmas cards and gifts for our family who are far away from us 
We miss them. We watched Transformers and played games later in the day.
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Now, listening to Aventura, and about to break out in dance once I finish typing these words, I am caught again in the wonder of life. I love the simple things, the tree dressed in fall colors, the lake shimmering in the sunlight, the sound of Rachael, Erik and Justin’s laugh around the dinner table, sitting close to Rachael, having Justin tickle me, and all the gifts that surround me.
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May my heart never become calloused or so hurt that is is unable to respond to and appreciate these gifts.
May I remain open to the daily adventures and the new relationships that will open before me this year.
May each wound or weight life gives to me be healed and left behind as I move forward.
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Sometimes life seems all uphill and the questions in my mind spin in circles and all I want is to figure it all out and to reach the top of the hill.
Other days I laugh at the questions and float over the ground, feet barely touching. Who cares about the top of the hill when there is so much to be enjoyed today?
Seasons come and then they go. Abba, give me the strength to hold on during dark times and give me the wisdom to know they will not last. They are but a moment.
May I see your face Abba, more clearly each day. My life is yours. Pry my hands open if you must, but make me yours. Show my what it means to be yours. Please speak to me about what you would have me do. More importantly, soften me - so often I sit like hardened clay in your hands - soften me to Your touch that I may become all that You have created me to be - and when I am in the way, gently guide me out of the way so You may have your way.
Without you, I have nothing.
You have life. You are life. Where can I go from you? Who have I in heaven but You?
Life with You is the best life possible - continue to guide me during this upcoming year.
Tomorrow I will be 27, but more importantly I will be with you.
You have promised to NEVER leave or forsake me. When people leave or choose not to be in relationship with me - it is the deepest wound possible to inflict on me -
Thank you that you have promised to NEVER leave.
