Eclectic Waters

Today Julie, Amy and I went to the Padres game with GREAT seats.  We were 17 rows up, by third base.   Julie has a connection that got us these killer seats at 1/2 off.  We were anticipating a fun night of cheering, baseball etc. - but little did we know Julie and I would also become famous.   Amy was our supporter during our rise to fame.  That’s right, we became f a m o u s.   We became famous because:

a) we are super cute

b) we showed incredible Padres’ spirit and gear (I had a hat and Julie had a hat) while jumping up and down and dancing wildly

c) the camera man thought we were amusing

d) all of the above  (hint - this is the correct answer)

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In the course of the first seven innings Julie and I appeared on the screen 4 times as the camera man directly in front of us captured our incredible dance moves.  They were mind blowing and beyond description as we have both practiced extensively in the privacy of our rooms and cars.  Car dancing is also an extremely cool and effective way to hone your dancing skills, as both Julie and I will attest to (free advice for all of you want to be famous people out there).

Then at the 7th inning stretch as we were walking back to our seats with our recently purchased ice-cream, a different camera man caught us on camera dancing with our ice cream.  What can we say,  our camera greatness is easily recognizable and that’s right - Julie and I were on the big screen FIVE TIMES.  

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The kids sitting next to us (three young boys) were so jealous, we started dancing next to them to try to help them become amazingly famous like us (we are so kind).

And as we were leaving the stadium, two ladies actually came up and said, “weren’t you two on the screen?  You got a lot of camera time tonight…”

That’s right.  We did.

Because… well - we’ve already listed the reasons.

leaning over the steering wheel as i drive home i’m tempted to lay my head down, but wait -

i’m driving.

my favorite night time sky -
a full moon awash in a sea of speckled clouds.

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yesterday i faced a small disappointment and as i was processing through it

the picture that came to mind was:

a messy room with me huddled in the corner.
I usually feel alone in these moments but have become better at asking God to meet me in the room instead of closing the door on Him.
Come in, I whisper timidly from the corner.

He enters.

Before long I feel myself surrounded by His love -

it doesn’t take the sting of what i’m feeling away, but it removes the sense of isolation.

Tomorrow will be a better day.
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Today was a better day:
*church with Kate

*Balboa Park with a good book and the sun shining on me.

I love people watching and being a part of a crowd.  Balboa has so many corners of beauty.  I wandered around, listened to organ music and intermittently sat in the shade reading and soaking up the sights around me and the space within.

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Today I realized that the more dissapointment’s I face, the bigger my dreams become.

As though each blow of the hammer, instead of shrinking my dreams, is expanding them.
As though each disappointment were a lung full of air being blown into the balloon of my dreams and
each pop, which I fear will leave me exposed and empty, instead finds me inside a much larger balloon than the previous one in which I stood.

I am exceedingly thankful for the various trials and disappointments I’ve faced, although they have not seemed pleasant at the time.

Today so much inside myself found peace and rest, but it is too deep for words.
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After Balboa I came home and stretched out on my bed, poured the remaining fragments of my thoughts out to God, and fell asleep.

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Later, a friend invited me to go to Bing’s in Fashion Valley.  The live jazz surrounded us, erasing all thoughts, and we found ourselves smiling, talking and moving to the music.

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Driving home

leaning over the steering wheel of my car

watching the moon glow in the midst of a cloudy sky,

i felt full.  New.  Free.

My pockets full of dreams once more.

a small plant

barely broken through the earth

nodding its head at me -

and with two sentences

is smashed.

i wonder what kind of flower it could have been

but now

it is dead.

PS:  lol and then the song that comes on my pandora dance station is basshunters “I know you know” - made me laugh.  I’m off to salsa dance - no more serious thoughts for tonight, instead i’ll get lost in the rhythm of my feet on the dance floor.

“One of the stories the preacher shared still sticks with me.  A young boy and his father were shopping at the mall. After only a few stores, the boy had grown tired and fussy.  In an effort to keep the boy’s crankiness at bay, the father had picked up his son, pressed him tightly against his chest in a bear-like hug, and began singing a random, original song over his child.  The lyrics blended phrases like, “I love you,” “You are my son,” “I love being with you,” and “You and me together.”  Though the lyrics lacked rhyme and the song lacked rhythm, the young boy sat calmly in his father’s arms for the remainder of the shopping expedition.

As they were leaving the mall and making their way to the car, the young boy looked up into his father’s eyes and said, “Sing it again, Daddy.  Sing it again!”…

The words of my heavenly father are not tiresome, but instead remind me of God’s faithfulness.  Like the young boy, I love to hear my heavenly father’s voice…

I am grateful for the moments when God draws my heart back to his.  Like the young boy, my spirit cries out, Sing it again, Abba. Sing it again!”

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I love finding books at the airport.  The first book I found after a long drought, in which I was unable to connect to or finish a book, was The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.  Leafing through its pages at the airport bookstore on my way to Canada, the pages whispered enticingly,  read me, and as I did, it broke the drought.   A book about displacement, longing and love.

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The second book I found at the airport was The Outside Boy by Jeanine Cummins, about a Pavee gypsy in the 1950’s.  It too whispered at me as I stood beside my luggage in the bookstore on my way to Cabo.  A young boy, having lived on the road all his life, settles briefly by a town to complete his confirmation.  The ever changing landscape of his growing up along with his desire for a town to call his own resonated with me.  I don’t want to give away the end - but in it I saw similar traces to my growing appreciation for the way in which I grew up, along with an appreciation for the open road.

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A short sample of the writing.  Christopher looking at a painting:
“It robbed the breath clean outta my chest when I seen it.  In a bleak and windy field, a single hungry house stood by the sea.  Boulders surrounded the little house like a gang of yawning skulls.  I could see only the back of their heads, but I heard their desperate accusations; I felt their appetites.  Hungry, ravenous, famished famine-heads.  I knew them; I knew every word of their hunger. (pg. 90)