A week ago today, at 5:30 p.m., I underwent Lasik eye surgery. Under the influence of Xanax, I allowed a doctor and his team of assistants, three to be exact, to numb my eyes, cut a flap with a laser and then remove minuscule layers of my cornea, reshaping it to give me clear vision.
If only gaining clear vision for one’s life were simple: finding the time and tools to gain clear insight.
We don’t change, or undergo surgery, unless we accept there is a problem. Once we accept the problem, we have to surrender to the surgical procedure. For my eyes, it meant allowing a doctor who has performed over 70,000 Lasik eye surgeries to cut and shape my eyes. For other areas of my life, it means identifying positive, growth-inducing resources and mentors.
Life and experience provide the painful incisions that shape my soul.
While life and experience shape me, my reaction is up to me. I can learn and move forward, using these experiences as stepping stones. I can blame, cling tightly to bitterness or shirk my responsibility and become a prisoner in my self made cell.
Lasik is not something I would have chosen without encouragement. Jon inspired me to think about it and because his work provided the opportunity to have it paid for, I choose to take the risk. I didn’t realize the difference it would make. The world is in focus.
My most difficult experiences have refined and focused me.
A broken engagement and later, a broken heart helped me recognize true intimacy when I met Jon years later. A broken dream of teaching and burn out helped me articulate, over the course of three years, who I am and who I am not. I love my work, life and hobbies.
What experiences have refined and focused you?