Stuck. Self inflicted expectations and fear can do that.
When I was fourteen, living on board the Logos II, my school class consisted of me, my brother and our teacher. Our assignment was simple. We were to research a topic and give a five minute speech on what we had learned.
I had become fascinated with the life of Henry VIII and his many wives. Once the assignment was clear, I spent hours on the internet, researching. Carefully I wrote and rewrote my speech, printed pictures & created a timeline of Henry the VIII’s marriages. I was ready.
The day of our speeches arrived. My teacher and I watched my brother’s presentation and when it was my turn, I stood in the front of the class. I was nervous but suddenly the feelings of emptiness and not feeling good enough overwhelmed me. The audience of two was encouraging, you can do it, but I was convinced I could not. My carefully prepared speech was held back by fear, unrealistic expectations and discouragement.
I would give my speech, but only after breaking down, crying and confessing my fears.
This weekend an unexpected thing has happened. The readership of my blog has gone from two to twenty one and I find that same creeping fear. This blog post is my confession and my commitment.
I am afraid but committed: writing is the way for me and there is no other way to follow this path than to write.
Thank you for journeying with me.
Is there something you are afraid of but that you have committed to doing?