Stuck. Self inflicted expectations and fear can do that.
When I was fourteen, living on board the Logos II, my school class consisted of me, my brother and our teacher. Our assignment was simple. We were to research a topic and give a five minute speech on what we had learned.
I had become fascinated with the life of Henry VIII and his many wives. Once the assignment was clear, I spent hours on the internet, researching. Carefully I wrote and rewrote my speech, printed pictures & created a timeline of Henry the VIII’s marriages. I was ready.
The day of our speeches arrived. My teacher and I watched my brother’s presentation and when it was my turn, I stood in the front of the class. I was nervous but suddenly the feelings of emptiness and not feeling good enough overwhelmed me. The audience of two was encouraging, you can do it, but I was convinced I could not. My carefully prepared speech was held back by fear, unrealistic expectations and discouragement.
I would give my speech, but only after breaking down, crying and confessing my fears.
This weekend an unexpected thing has happened. The readership of my blog has gone from two to twenty one and I find that same creeping fear. This blog post is my confession and my commitment.
I am afraid but committed: writing is the way for me and there is no other way to follow this path than to write.
Thank you for journeying with me.
Is there something you are afraid of but that you have committed to doing?
We all have fears. Even after we think we have conquered them, something happens and the same fears are back. I am so proud of you for facing the giant called fear and moving forward anyway! I am enjoying reading your entries and am looking forward to your book!
Love & Blessings,
Shelly
You’re right – the more I read other writers, the more I realize we all have fears. Thanks Shelly!
But you are writing. The fear can be directed into motivation. When fear curls its tentacles around your heart, sends whispers to your grey matter, and discomfort to your stomach; just stop and check your true motive for writing. I am loving hearing from your heart. Maybe someday I will have the courage to let you read what I am writing.
Thanks so much! Whenever you are ready – I’d love to read what you are working on. I love how you vividly described fear. I can tell, I would enjoy what you write
What a great kickoff! I came over from TW to check you out, and it looks wonderful. Your words flowed smoothly, and you are going to do great!
)
PS (were you homeschooled? I ask because that sounds like our house
I actually lived on a missionary ship for 10 years as a kid, but I relate a lot to homeschool kids because sometimes it was just me and my siblings at the school.
Hi Deanne,
Your blog is beautiful! I love this: “I am afraid but committed: writing is the way for me and there is no other way to follow this path than to write.” Love that you’re taking the brave steps to follow the path.
Thanks Brianna! I love that we have TribeWriters to encourage us on.
Thanks for being vulnerable! It’s refreshing and much needed in our guarded world. Owning and naming our fears is a big step in beginning to overcome them! Keep going – we can all relate!
“Success is not final…Failure is not fatal…it’s the courage to continue that counts.” ~Winston Churchill. Everyone has fears to face – it’s in finding the courage to face those fears that teach us life’s most important lessons. Keep on keeping on. It gets easier.
Love the quote. Thank you!
Congratulations, Deanne! That’s impressive growth!
My fear is being a parent, but I am committed to my daughter even before she was born
Sometimes the bridges over our biggest fears are our paths to our greatest joys.
I love how you put this
“Sometimes the bridges over our biggest fears are our paths to our greatest joys.”
I like that too. It just might end up quoted in a blog!
lol – that’s what I thought too. Rachael, you’re going to be famous
LOL that is fine
Maybe I should start copywriting my comments.
I’m so glad you are moving despite your fear TribeWriter! Beautiful site-beautiful words.
Just wait till it is 221! And remember … it really is that audience of One that matters. I like what you write. And will keep reading. Take heart… if you keep writing and keep pressing in to the call to put your particular words down on paper, or computer – and keep figuring out what it is that YOU have to say that is the same as everyone but also different and that’s what makes it worth telling – you will have faithful readers – you will have a platform, a tribe if you will – and your voice will go out – and some people might even find their way home as a result. Take heart. Be of good courage. You’ve barely begun this writing journey … you’ve got a lot more to say. Love you. Tina
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